What is the perfect size of a city for you?
For me, San Sebastian feels just right. Weighing in at 180,000, San Sebastian feels like an overgrown seaside village – a gorgeous, vibrant, and extremely cultured village, that is.
It’s small enough to know most people but big enough to attract world-class cultural events, such as the 58th San Sebastian International Film Festival that’s going on right now.
I’ve braved the 405 to work in LA, I survived the Mumbai local trains to my internship, and last year I stuck out nine months of isolation in small town Spain.
After tasting cities of all sizes and styles I’ve chosen San Sebastian.
I'm happy with my choice...
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Friends in San Sebastian
I’m lucky to have good friends with me from the start.
Nick Ivarsson will be at my side, a friend of mine from Coronado in San Diego. Nick is going to be taking language courses here and surfing and I am excited to spend a year together.
Nick introduced me to his friend, Kevin Zimmerman, who was his classmate at UCI. Kevin is also taking language courses and, despite having almost identical wardrobes, I think we will have a great time this year.
Through Kevin I have been introduced to some other foreigners in town, Femke and Stephi, both from Holland. Femke works at a hostel and Stephi works at the language school and they are both really cool girls. We’ve spent the first week together hanging at the beach, swimming across the bay to the island in the center, and going out at night.
So I have some good friends from the start. I also know a lot of other people around Spain who are teaching English, most of whom I knew last year. From Bilbao to Leon to Sevilla, I have a strong network of good friends.
Most notable addition to the mix goes to my brother, Alex, who will be living in Pontevedra, Galicia, teaching English. We will certainly do a lot of surf trips and travel together as much as possible.
The year is off to a good start. Now all I gotta do is make friends with some local people!
Nick Ivarsson will be at my side, a friend of mine from Coronado in San Diego. Nick is going to be taking language courses here and surfing and I am excited to spend a year together.
Nick introduced me to his friend, Kevin Zimmerman, who was his classmate at UCI. Kevin is also taking language courses and, despite having almost identical wardrobes, I think we will have a great time this year.
Through Kevin I have been introduced to some other foreigners in town, Femke and Stephi, both from Holland. Femke works at a hostel and Stephi works at the language school and they are both really cool girls. We’ve spent the first week together hanging at the beach, swimming across the bay to the island in the center, and going out at night.
So I have some good friends from the start. I also know a lot of other people around Spain who are teaching English, most of whom I knew last year. From Bilbao to Leon to Sevilla, I have a strong network of good friends.
Most notable addition to the mix goes to my brother, Alex, who will be living in Pontevedra, Galicia, teaching English. We will certainly do a lot of surf trips and travel together as much as possible.
The year is off to a good start. Now all I gotta do is make friends with some local people!
A Dream Come True
It still feels odd when I tell people I’m living in San Sebastian.
It’s a dream come true. In my opinion this beachside town is the best in Spain, the elegant jewel of Spain’s verdant northern Atlantic coast.
I have everything I need here. Two exquisite beaches in the center of town, a great surfing beach, the charm of the fishing port and narrow warren of bars and restaurants in the old town, and a youthful population living aside the vanguards of arguably the oldest culture in Europe. France is 30 minutes away, the Pyrenees are no farther, and a rugged coastline stretching from here to Portugal beckons me to explore her shores on a year's worth of surf trips.
I hope to use this blog both to chronicle my adventures and showcase the beauty I see in the Basque culture.
Such beauty is often self-evident - look at the background picture of this blog. Yesterday I walked up to this hill, one of two that guards the crescent-shaped beach, and beheld my new home. From where I stood the sheltered bay stretched out before me, named Bahia de la Concha for it’s shell-like shape. Its golden beach arced from there to a narrow peninsula where the Old Town huddles against the steep, fortified mountain at its tip. Beyond this bay lies the surf beach, Gros and the northern foothills of the Pyrenees. In the distant horizon I can see Biarritz, France. To my left stormed the capricious Atlantic throwing waves and wind against the cliffs, ports, and beaches of the Basque Country. Sea, wind, and the hills – this landscape lies at the heart of the Basques.
It is in this landscape that I will make my home for the next year. One year in this seaport, tucked between France, Spain and the Pyrnees. A year in Basqueland.
I came back to the moment and watched the sunset splash purple waves across the bay and the lights come on in the Old Town. For a moment I could see in the reflection in the water all the experiences waiting for me in the coming months. I could not help but smile.
It’s going to be a great year.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
San Sebastian
Tomorrow I leave California and return to Spain for a second year.
I am blessed to have secured a job in San Sebastian, in the Spanish Basque Country. It is the ideal location: a gorgeous city built around the most beautiful bay in northern Spain, cosmopolitan, multi-lingual, beaches, surf, close to France and the Pyrenees, and full of culture and life. My favorite facts about San Sebastian - it has the most Michelan-starred restaurants per capita and the most bars per square meter in the world. I have a huge smile on my face right now...
Tonight I will lie on my bed restlessly dreaming of the year ahead. I've spent the last month in San Diego, catching up with family and friends and taking a pause between adventures. Now my mind is filling with the inevitible questions about the future: What will happen to me? Who will I meet? What adventures will I embark upon? What disasters will befall me? Where will I be in a year?
This is not the first time I've jumped into the unknown, but tonight I'm doing the same thing I always do before I take a leap of faith. I'm looking into my own eyes in the mirror, reminding myself of my goals, my purpose and - above all - my ability to adapt to whatever comes in my path.
One can only spend so much time thinking about the future. For now I'm focused on the moment. See you in a few days, once I get settled down in Spain. Wish me luck!
-Mark
I am blessed to have secured a job in San Sebastian, in the Spanish Basque Country. It is the ideal location: a gorgeous city built around the most beautiful bay in northern Spain, cosmopolitan, multi-lingual, beaches, surf, close to France and the Pyrenees, and full of culture and life. My favorite facts about San Sebastian - it has the most Michelan-starred restaurants per capita and the most bars per square meter in the world. I have a huge smile on my face right now...
Tonight I will lie on my bed restlessly dreaming of the year ahead. I've spent the last month in San Diego, catching up with family and friends and taking a pause between adventures. Now my mind is filling with the inevitible questions about the future: What will happen to me? Who will I meet? What adventures will I embark upon? What disasters will befall me? Where will I be in a year?
This is not the first time I've jumped into the unknown, but tonight I'm doing the same thing I always do before I take a leap of faith. I'm looking into my own eyes in the mirror, reminding myself of my goals, my purpose and - above all - my ability to adapt to whatever comes in my path.
One can only spend so much time thinking about the future. For now I'm focused on the moment. See you in a few days, once I get settled down in Spain. Wish me luck!
-Mark
What's in a Name? Significance of Una Idea Peregrina
It's about time I explained what "Una Idea Peregrina" means.
I first heard this expression when I told some collegues my plans for the future - educating myself by the book of the world, drinking deeply from the stream of life and traveling for the foreseeable future. As I explained in my first blog, I wanted to walk El Camino de Santiago, move to France, learn how to speak Spanish and French, play the Spanish guitar, learn how to write and then sail back home across the Atlantic!
"Esta es una idea peregrina" was their response - That's 'a pilgrim's idea,' meaning it's a hopelessly idealistic and unrealistic plan. This phrase dates back to the middle ages, when pilgrims (peregrinos) would embark on the pilgrimage to the tomb of Santiago (St. James) in northwestern Spain. The trail was full of bandits, unforeseen dangers and shifty foreigners that only a fool would risk so much for an ideal.
But I have accomplished most of what I told my colleagues I would do. Apart from sailing across the Atlantic, I think I've done it all. My Spanish is not perfect, but I've got another year in Spain to work on it. I started writing for a travel magazine and moved to Paris to take creative writing classes. I even learned a smattering of French, which I will improve this year. And above all I walked 500 miles of the pilgrimage to Santiago. This peregrino's idea wasn't so unattainable after all.
The challenge of each passing year is keeping my spark of madness alive. I watch my friends further progressing into their successful careers and I need to remind myself that I have chosen my own path, one that is perhaps riskier, initally less fruitful but hopefully more fulfilling in the end. As for my pilgrim's dreams, they are still alive. My backpack is waiting under my bed, ready for the next hitchhiking adventure, that eventual trip to the port of Gibraltar to pick up a ride across the Atlantic. This peregrino keeps on dreaming.
I first heard this expression when I told some collegues my plans for the future - educating myself by the book of the world, drinking deeply from the stream of life and traveling for the foreseeable future. As I explained in my first blog, I wanted to walk El Camino de Santiago, move to France, learn how to speak Spanish and French, play the Spanish guitar, learn how to write and then sail back home across the Atlantic!
"Esta es una idea peregrina" was their response - That's 'a pilgrim's idea,' meaning it's a hopelessly idealistic and unrealistic plan. This phrase dates back to the middle ages, when pilgrims (peregrinos) would embark on the pilgrimage to the tomb of Santiago (St. James) in northwestern Spain. The trail was full of bandits, unforeseen dangers and shifty foreigners that only a fool would risk so much for an ideal.
But I have accomplished most of what I told my colleagues I would do. Apart from sailing across the Atlantic, I think I've done it all. My Spanish is not perfect, but I've got another year in Spain to work on it. I started writing for a travel magazine and moved to Paris to take creative writing classes. I even learned a smattering of French, which I will improve this year. And above all I walked 500 miles of the pilgrimage to Santiago. This peregrino's idea wasn't so unattainable after all.
The challenge of each passing year is keeping my spark of madness alive. I watch my friends further progressing into their successful careers and I need to remind myself that I have chosen my own path, one that is perhaps riskier, initally less fruitful but hopefully more fulfilling in the end. As for my pilgrim's dreams, they are still alive. My backpack is waiting under my bed, ready for the next hitchhiking adventure, that eventual trip to the port of Gibraltar to pick up a ride across the Atlantic. This peregrino keeps on dreaming.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Some Books to Help You Start Your Journey
Ever dream of traveling the world? College tells us plenty about how to get a job after graduation, but very little about alternative lifestyle choices.
When I decided to pursue my dreams of traveling and working around the world, I got almost no help from the traditional sources of advice. Parents, teachers, and career counselors could help me find a job in LA, but few had advice on how to travel. I had to turn to books for inspiration and guidance. Here are a few of my favorites that helped me get started.
First, discover your dream
This is perhaps the most difficult step of all. We are fed so much of other peoples' opinions of what we are supposed to want that we often forget what it is we truly want to do with our lives. The book that helped me realize my dreams was The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. This book is popular for a reason - through the tale of Santiago, a young Spanish shepherd who dreams of traveling to the pyramids in Egypt, Coelho teaches us about how to follow our dreams and discover our personal destiny in life. He shows us how to overcome what prevents most of us from realizing our dreams and inspires us to take off on our own journey. Packed full of wisdom, The Alchemist is a must read.
Secondly, learn how to take the first steps,
If you're reading this blog, I'm assuming you harbor dreams of travel. So here's step two.
Almost by chance, I stumbled upon the book Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term Travel by Rolf Potts. Its pages hold the secrets of how to make long-term travel a reality. Travel, says Rolf Potts, is not about a mere 2-week escapist vacation, but about taking a sizable amount of time to travel slowly and experience the world on your own terms. It's a philosophical introduction to an alternate lifestyle, complete with tips on how to get started, how to budget money, work abroad, interact with other cultures and return home. I carried this book with me through Asia like a Bible, consulting it from time to time to ensure my wanderings were following the right course. Aside from the practical and philosophical advice, I really loved the abundance of travel-related quotes from everyday people to famous authors such as Emerson, Whitman, Kurt Vonnetgut, just to name a few. About a year and a half after picking up the book, my own travels took me to Paris, where I studied travel writing from the author himself. Rolf Potts writes from experience and his website is a great place to find inspiration and advice.
Next, plan out your journey
Once you've realized your dreams of travel and learned how to turn them to reality, it's time to start getting practical. For my trip through Asia, I used First Time Around the World by Rough Guides. This book blew my mind when I learned of just how many options are open to the traveler who sets himself free. What was so great about this book was it's larger scope - it talked briefly about the pros and cons of each continent, then showed me how to link them all together via the Trans-Siberian Railroad or hitch-hiking on yachts across the Atlantic. It also contains very practical advice on how to find work abroad, how to buy round-the-world airplane tickets or shop for travel insurance and everything else involved in pulling off your dreams. Above all, it inspires you by showing that even the wildest dreams are within your reach if you just do some planning beforehand.
Finally, remember the big picture
One of the most compelling reasons for traveling in our youth is the only real, unavoidable truth - one day, we are all going to die. Sounds a bit morbid, but recognizing that we could die tomorrow and living your life accordingly is the key to freedom. Here are my favorite books that inspire me to live my life to the fullest:
- On The Road by Jack Kerouac - I read this book before I read any of the others. In his masterpiece, Kerouac reminds us that the important things in life are not the things we own but the experiences we have had. This book chronicles his travels across the USA in the early 1950s, living life to the fullest, living in the moment, and trying to make sense as to what it is we are supposed to do with our lives. Every one of us has a tiny spark of madness within our souls and each page of On The Road blows on that spark until it erupts into a flaming passion to Go! Go! Go! and 'burn, burn, burn, like a Roman candle.'
- The Razor's Edge by W. Somerset Maugham - This book spoke to me more than any other I have read. It is about a middle class American boy who comes back from fighting in WWI a changed man. He has seen death, and realizes that the comfortable borgeoise life offered to him is not what he wants. He must seek truth and answer the larger questions of life. We follow the protagonist as he travels first to 1920s Paris, then across Europe to India and eventually back to the USA. A wonderful combination of philosophy, societal commentary, and travel, I could not recommend this book more highly.
- Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis - Amazing book. The main character is a bookish Greek intellectual who moves to Crete in the 1920s on a quest for happiness and meaning in life. There he meets Zorba, a larger-than life Zeus-like man of 65 years, who is younger, happier and wiser than the learned protagonist, despite never having been to school. This book teaches us (ironically, perhaps) to stop looking for wisdom in books, to go outside and live life to the fullest for wisdom can only be found in experience, happiness in the pleasures of the flesh. Read this book and you too will see the wisdom in living like Zorba.
That being said...
...you can only do so much reading before you simply must close the books and start your journey. I read only On The Road before taking off on my adventures, but each of these books has guided me, inspired me, and kept that spark of madness burning strongly within my soul.
These were the books that worked for me. What worked for you? Share your favorite reads in the comment section below...
Happy reading!
Mark
When I decided to pursue my dreams of traveling and working around the world, I got almost no help from the traditional sources of advice. Parents, teachers, and career counselors could help me find a job in LA, but few had advice on how to travel. I had to turn to books for inspiration and guidance. Here are a few of my favorites that helped me get started.
This is perhaps the most difficult step of all. We are fed so much of other peoples' opinions of what we are supposed to want that we often forget what it is we truly want to do with our lives. The book that helped me realize my dreams was The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. This book is popular for a reason - through the tale of Santiago, a young Spanish shepherd who dreams of traveling to the pyramids in Egypt, Coelho teaches us about how to follow our dreams and discover our personal destiny in life. He shows us how to overcome what prevents most of us from realizing our dreams and inspires us to take off on our own journey. Packed full of wisdom, The Alchemist is a must read.
If you're reading this blog, I'm assuming you harbor dreams of travel. So here's step two.
Almost by chance, I stumbled upon the book Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term Travel by Rolf Potts. Its pages hold the secrets of how to make long-term travel a reality. Travel, says Rolf Potts, is not about a mere 2-week escapist vacation, but about taking a sizable amount of time to travel slowly and experience the world on your own terms. It's a philosophical introduction to an alternate lifestyle, complete with tips on how to get started, how to budget money, work abroad, interact with other cultures and return home. I carried this book with me through Asia like a Bible, consulting it from time to time to ensure my wanderings were following the right course. Aside from the practical and philosophical advice, I really loved the abundance of travel-related quotes from everyday people to famous authors such as Emerson, Whitman, Kurt Vonnetgut, just to name a few. About a year and a half after picking up the book, my own travels took me to Paris, where I studied travel writing from the author himself. Rolf Potts writes from experience and his website is a great place to find inspiration and advice.
Once you've realized your dreams of travel and learned how to turn them to reality, it's time to start getting practical. For my trip through Asia, I used First Time Around the World by Rough Guides. This book blew my mind when I learned of just how many options are open to the traveler who sets himself free. What was so great about this book was it's larger scope - it talked briefly about the pros and cons of each continent, then showed me how to link them all together via the Trans-Siberian Railroad or hitch-hiking on yachts across the Atlantic. It also contains very practical advice on how to find work abroad, how to buy round-the-world airplane tickets or shop for travel insurance and everything else involved in pulling off your dreams. Above all, it inspires you by showing that even the wildest dreams are within your reach if you just do some planning beforehand.
Finally, remember the big picture
One of the most compelling reasons for traveling in our youth is the only real, unavoidable truth - one day, we are all going to die. Sounds a bit morbid, but recognizing that we could die tomorrow and living your life accordingly is the key to freedom. Here are my favorite books that inspire me to live my life to the fullest:
That being said...
...you can only do so much reading before you simply must close the books and start your journey. I read only On The Road before taking off on my adventures, but each of these books has guided me, inspired me, and kept that spark of madness burning strongly within my soul.
These were the books that worked for me. What worked for you? Share your favorite reads in the comment section below...
Happy reading!
Mark
Friday, August 20, 2010
My Year in Spain in Retrospect
I learned a lot this year, almost all of it the hard way. Stripped of most of the things that make me happy, I learned the value of what we take for granted.
I was alone with very few friends in a stagnating village, unable to change my scholarship, unable to move to another city and unwilling to give up and come home. The conclusions I have drawn in the last year may seem obvious to most, but I assure you they are all borne from deep experience. So here they are, in no particular order - except for the first ; )
Mark's Seemingly Obvious, Painfully Realized Conclusions from One Year in Spain
1) Friends and family are vital - When someone moves abroad, he temporarily gives up his friendships back home because he assumes he will make new friends in his new home. But I miscalculated this one. As I've previously described, there were only a handful of people my age in the town, all genuinely good people but none able to replace my friends I'd left in California. Arevalo was a small town with no university, very little economy, and few prospects for ambitious young people so most people between 18-30 years of age left the town. My four roommates dwindled to one, then none and I suddenly found myself all alone in the middle of rural Spain, praying to be reunited with my friends as soon as possible.
I constantly thought back to my time at UCLA, when I was constantly surrounded by friends and even made Social Chairman of my fraternity. But because I had 30,000 students around me, each individual person's significance can be diluted by the sheer number of other people. You meet a great girl at a party, but lose her in the crowd five minutes later but it doesn't matter because there are many fish in the sea. Arevalo was a small pond with few fish. Living in a 6,000 person town with a half dozen friends showed me how valuable every person is, that we should never treat people like they are disposable or replaceable. We must bring small-town-style friendships to the crowds of our biggest cities.
2) Your Environment is Everything - I didn't realize this until I'd moved into a negative environment. All my life I have lived amongst successful people, from my family to my high school friends to my classmates at UCLA. Being around successful, motivated and intelligent people encourages you to reach your best and provides you with stimulation. In Arevalo, my sole roommate was so lazy he could hardly get off the couch to defrost his frozen dinner, the nearest intellectual conversations I could find were at my friends' apartment an hour away, and, for lack of options I was forced to - eh-hem - stimulate myself. Intellectually, that is. I read a lot, studied Spanish a lot, but quickly realized the limitations of self-study in hermit-like reclusion. That brings me to my next conclusion...
3) Living Alone Strengthens You, Maddens You, and Shows You What a Lazy Slob You Really Are - At least in my case... In the absence of friends, I grew stronger by reducing my dependency on others for happiness. A walk through town, smiling and chatting with the local villagers can overcome loneliness better than 2,000 peripheral Facebook friends and a dozen missed calls on your cellphone. But solitude also maddens you - I talked to myself more than I'd like to admit and often longed for company and conversation, which goes back to conclusion #1.
[On a quick aside, I actually lived next to an insane asylum last year so most of the people walking past my apartment had serious mental issues. This negatively affected me and a few times I thought I was going to lose it as well, so I conclude that living with crazy people makes you a little crazy as well.]
But above all, living alone forces you to come to terms with your most negative habits. If the kitchen is dirty, it's not because your roommate is a slob - it's because you are lazy. I have always relied on workout partners for fitness, roommates for cleaning the apartment, a buddy for cooking dinner et cetera. This year I was forced to do this all on my own.
4) Live in the Moment, Not the Future and Especially Not the Past
For the first time in my life, I disliked the present moment. All I wanted was to ride out the experience and move onto something else. I reminisced about my travels in Asia, I dreamt about my future travels, and I lost myself by surfing the internet. In this way, months slipped by as I distracted myself from my situation - that is, from my life. The future, the past, the internet - none of these are realities. The only thing that is real is this very moment, the room you are in the people you are talking to. Focusing on anything else is mere distraction.
5) Travel Towards Something, Never Away From Anything
Every long-term traveler will eventually have to confront this dilemma. I left home in search of certain truths, experiences and knowledge I could only find overseas. I was running towards something. I came to Spain to learn Spanish, to explore Western Europe, to spend time reading and writing. But I so disliked my present reality that I began traveling every weekend merely to escape my village. By mid-February I was burnt out from incessant travel, wondering why I found so little pleasure in something that had previously defined my life. I took a break from traveling, reassessed my priorities and by the end of the year I resumed running towards my travel goals.
6) Busyness Beats Leisure After One Week
Ferris BuellerBueller's Day Off, not his Decade Off. Too much play and not enough work makes Jack a dull boy. Without the toil of work, leisure becomes boring and after a year of working 12 hours a week, I have had more free time than I knew what to do with. Next year I will fill my schedule up to the brim. I'll join sports teams, organize social events, learn how to sail, surf more, sign up for French lessons and continue practicing my Spanish. I'll have less time to write, but it will be more compressed and therefore more efficiently utilized time.
7) You Gotta Run Your Own Race
I was one of the only foreigners in Arevalo and my values and lifestyle differed substantially from my neighbors - especially my love of travel. My town was not far from the Portuguese border, yet many people had never left Spain and some thought I was crazy for traveling so much. I saw the proximity of such contrasting cultures made it impossible not to explore Europe, but I began playing down my travel experiences in order not to provoke misunderstanding or jealousy. I ultimately realized that I could not hide my great adventures, denying their existence was denying a part of my own identity. I was a nomad amongst sedentary villagers, but I can't be ashamed of who I am or what I've done.
8) Life is Short - You Must Take Control of Your Own Destiny
This one is huge. When I first arrived in Arevalo, I had tried to move to a bigger city but I was unable to commute to work so I abandoned all attempts to improve my situation and resigned myself to a having a somewhat shitty year. Life is too short to spend even a day living in an unpleasant way. I realized this only months later, when springtime came and I found that we cannot change the hand we're dealt, only the way we react to it. Eventually I simply decided to be happy. I came up with a list of small things that brought joy to my unpleasant living situation. Running in the morning, walking in the wheat fields outside of town, dressing up smartly even if no one would see me, making my bed and tidying an apartment that no one would ever see et cetera. I learned the daily habits that made me feel happy, productive, and worthwhile and I've repeated them every day since.
9) Make Peace with What You Can't Change
But there were some things I could not change. I couldn't switch towns, I couldn't become fluent in Spanish overnight, I couldn't write the Great American Novel at age 23 - but that's okay. As the year came to a close, I learned to appreciate the town's beauty, serenity, and lovely people. I made peace with my gradual progression towards my goals, finding joy in the process of improving rather than the anxiously demanding the fruits of my labor. In short, I made the best of my situation and stopped trying to change what's beyond my control.
10) Experience is the Best Teacher of All
I thought I already knew this, but it wasn't until I spent a year in Arevalo and read Zorba the Greek that it really hit home. Zorba, the hero of this excellent 20th century classic, teaches the protagonist how to live life to the fullest. The protagonist is obsessed with books, studying the Buddhist scriptures for happiness and wisdom, but Zorba shows him that by spending one's life cocooned in books prevents you from having the experiences (and mistakes) that ultimately teach you the most. In my desire to improve my situation, I read many philosophy books, in my desire to learn Spanish I studied many grammatical books. But nothing taught me more than simply closing my books and getting out there in the world. (PS - read Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis!!! Highly recommended!)
11) Everyone Gets Lost Occasionally
At the end of the year, I didn't really know what I was doing anymore or why I was doing it. My original intentions of continuing my free-spirited travels, learning from the open book of the world and practicing writing had led me to a year of stagnation in Arevalo. I was lost, as happens to us all at one point or another. I had to find my way again, and so I chose to follow The Way of St. James - that is, El Camino de Santiago.
Next Post: My travels on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela - One month walk across 500+ miles of France and Spain.
I was alone with very few friends in a stagnating village, unable to change my scholarship, unable to move to another city and unwilling to give up and come home. The conclusions I have drawn in the last year may seem obvious to most, but I assure you they are all borne from deep experience. So here they are, in no particular order - except for the first ; )
Mark's Seemingly Obvious, Painfully Realized Conclusions from One Year in Spain
1) Friends and family are vital - When someone moves abroad, he temporarily gives up his friendships back home because he assumes he will make new friends in his new home. But I miscalculated this one. As I've previously described, there were only a handful of people my age in the town, all genuinely good people but none able to replace my friends I'd left in California. Arevalo was a small town with no university, very little economy, and few prospects for ambitious young people so most people between 18-30 years of age left the town. My four roommates dwindled to one, then none and I suddenly found myself all alone in the middle of rural Spain, praying to be reunited with my friends as soon as possible.
I constantly thought back to my time at UCLA, when I was constantly surrounded by friends and even made Social Chairman of my fraternity. But because I had 30,000 students around me, each individual person's significance can be diluted by the sheer number of other people. You meet a great girl at a party, but lose her in the crowd five minutes later but it doesn't matter because there are many fish in the sea. Arevalo was a small pond with few fish. Living in a 6,000 person town with a half dozen friends showed me how valuable every person is, that we should never treat people like they are disposable or replaceable. We must bring small-town-style friendships to the crowds of our biggest cities.
2) Your Environment is Everything - I didn't realize this until I'd moved into a negative environment. All my life I have lived amongst successful people, from my family to my high school friends to my classmates at UCLA. Being around successful, motivated and intelligent people encourages you to reach your best and provides you with stimulation. In Arevalo, my sole roommate was so lazy he could hardly get off the couch to defrost his frozen dinner, the nearest intellectual conversations I could find were at my friends' apartment an hour away, and, for lack of options I was forced to - eh-hem - stimulate myself. Intellectually, that is. I read a lot, studied Spanish a lot, but quickly realized the limitations of self-study in hermit-like reclusion. That brings me to my next conclusion...
3) Living Alone Strengthens You, Maddens You, and Shows You What a Lazy Slob You Really Are - At least in my case... In the absence of friends, I grew stronger by reducing my dependency on others for happiness. A walk through town, smiling and chatting with the local villagers can overcome loneliness better than 2,000 peripheral Facebook friends and a dozen missed calls on your cellphone. But solitude also maddens you - I talked to myself more than I'd like to admit and often longed for company and conversation, which goes back to conclusion #1.
[On a quick aside, I actually lived next to an insane asylum last year so most of the people walking past my apartment had serious mental issues. This negatively affected me and a few times I thought I was going to lose it as well, so I conclude that living with crazy people makes you a little crazy as well.]
But above all, living alone forces you to come to terms with your most negative habits. If the kitchen is dirty, it's not because your roommate is a slob - it's because you are lazy. I have always relied on workout partners for fitness, roommates for cleaning the apartment, a buddy for cooking dinner et cetera. This year I was forced to do this all on my own.
4) Live in the Moment, Not the Future and Especially Not the Past
For the first time in my life, I disliked the present moment. All I wanted was to ride out the experience and move onto something else. I reminisced about my travels in Asia, I dreamt about my future travels, and I lost myself by surfing the internet. In this way, months slipped by as I distracted myself from my situation - that is, from my life. The future, the past, the internet - none of these are realities. The only thing that is real is this very moment, the room you are in the people you are talking to. Focusing on anything else is mere distraction.
5) Travel Towards Something, Never Away From Anything
Every long-term traveler will eventually have to confront this dilemma. I left home in search of certain truths, experiences and knowledge I could only find overseas. I was running towards something. I came to Spain to learn Spanish, to explore Western Europe, to spend time reading and writing. But I so disliked my present reality that I began traveling every weekend merely to escape my village. By mid-February I was burnt out from incessant travel, wondering why I found so little pleasure in something that had previously defined my life. I took a break from traveling, reassessed my priorities and by the end of the year I resumed running towards my travel goals.
6) Busyness Beats Leisure After One Week
Ferris BuellerBueller's Day Off, not his Decade Off. Too much play and not enough work makes Jack a dull boy. Without the toil of work, leisure becomes boring and after a year of working 12 hours a week, I have had more free time than I knew what to do with. Next year I will fill my schedule up to the brim. I'll join sports teams, organize social events, learn how to sail, surf more, sign up for French lessons and continue practicing my Spanish. I'll have less time to write, but it will be more compressed and therefore more efficiently utilized time.
7) You Gotta Run Your Own Race
I was one of the only foreigners in Arevalo and my values and lifestyle differed substantially from my neighbors - especially my love of travel. My town was not far from the Portuguese border, yet many people had never left Spain and some thought I was crazy for traveling so much. I saw the proximity of such contrasting cultures made it impossible not to explore Europe, but I began playing down my travel experiences in order not to provoke misunderstanding or jealousy. I ultimately realized that I could not hide my great adventures, denying their existence was denying a part of my own identity. I was a nomad amongst sedentary villagers, but I can't be ashamed of who I am or what I've done.
8) Life is Short - You Must Take Control of Your Own Destiny
This one is huge. When I first arrived in Arevalo, I had tried to move to a bigger city but I was unable to commute to work so I abandoned all attempts to improve my situation and resigned myself to a having a somewhat shitty year. Life is too short to spend even a day living in an unpleasant way. I realized this only months later, when springtime came and I found that we cannot change the hand we're dealt, only the way we react to it. Eventually I simply decided to be happy. I came up with a list of small things that brought joy to my unpleasant living situation. Running in the morning, walking in the wheat fields outside of town, dressing up smartly even if no one would see me, making my bed and tidying an apartment that no one would ever see et cetera. I learned the daily habits that made me feel happy, productive, and worthwhile and I've repeated them every day since.
9) Make Peace with What You Can't Change
But there were some things I could not change. I couldn't switch towns, I couldn't become fluent in Spanish overnight, I couldn't write the Great American Novel at age 23 - but that's okay. As the year came to a close, I learned to appreciate the town's beauty, serenity, and lovely people. I made peace with my gradual progression towards my goals, finding joy in the process of improving rather than the anxiously demanding the fruits of my labor. In short, I made the best of my situation and stopped trying to change what's beyond my control.
10) Experience is the Best Teacher of All
I thought I already knew this, but it wasn't until I spent a year in Arevalo and read Zorba the Greek that it really hit home. Zorba, the hero of this excellent 20th century classic, teaches the protagonist how to live life to the fullest. The protagonist is obsessed with books, studying the Buddhist scriptures for happiness and wisdom, but Zorba shows him that by spending one's life cocooned in books prevents you from having the experiences (and mistakes) that ultimately teach you the most. In my desire to improve my situation, I read many philosophy books, in my desire to learn Spanish I studied many grammatical books. But nothing taught me more than simply closing my books and getting out there in the world. (PS - read Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis!!! Highly recommended!)
11) Everyone Gets Lost Occasionally
At the end of the year, I didn't really know what I was doing anymore or why I was doing it. My original intentions of continuing my free-spirited travels, learning from the open book of the world and practicing writing had led me to a year of stagnation in Arevalo. I was lost, as happens to us all at one point or another. I had to find my way again, and so I chose to follow The Way of St. James - that is, El Camino de Santiago.
Next Post: My travels on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela - One month walk across 500+ miles of France and Spain.
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